think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
