OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
