pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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