i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
