i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
