just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
