we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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