It's a beautiful day for a hangover
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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