That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
