haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
