I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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