I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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