Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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