Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize