I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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