Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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