dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
