Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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