dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
