wat bout pragnant strippers??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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