my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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