Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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