I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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