My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
