I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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