i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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