I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
