I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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