In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
