mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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