Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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