Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My balls are so social today.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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