I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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