Don't you send me to vm
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
