butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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