I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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