in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
