i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
