I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
