he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
