This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
