At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
