I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
