So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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