apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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