David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
