This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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