I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
