So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
