no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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