He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
