Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
