Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we have pet lesbian snakes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
