we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
