i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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