I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize