Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
