But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
