The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
