i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
