I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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