i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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